Pastor Thadius

I came from a very poor family, and my father and mother where alcoholics. My father worked on banana farms in our village in Kenya, which he liked because he earned quick money for alcohol. When I was five years old something happened to change my life forever. I was playing with other friends my age and suddenly felt very cold. My legs felt so weak that I could not even walk. My friends helped carry me home where my mom saw that the situation was serous. I was not even able to talk. My condition worsened as evening worn on and by morning my body was so weak that I could not do anything by myself.

My mother decided to take me to the hospital where the doctors said I had been attacked by polio through the spinal code and might not walk again. After many surgeries, the care of a loving mother, and a six-month hospital stay, I was able to walk with a limp. Because of my one weak leg I would never walk normally again. I tried desperately to hide myself because of what I was going through. The weak leg served as source of embarrassment from the community. Other kids made a lot of fun of me. They called me names and tried to imitate my walking. My father was angry towards me and mom; he used to attack my mother and say that it was her fault. These behaviors worked against whom God had created me to be.

My mother and I faced high discrimination from our community. The community spread false information about my health. Some people called me a cursed person, while running away so that I could not spread the same curses to them. As I grew older, I tried to explain to my age mates who avoided me that I was not cursed. My life in the community and school was very painful because of bullying and discrimination.

Then God proved to me that I was his creature by giving me a female partner who agreed to marry me. My fiancé was the first person to tell me about her Savior, Jesus. I tried to follow her to the church where she was worshipping, and I also tried to be close to Christ to impress my fiancé to marry me. I experienced a Godly love from her and enjoyed the peace I received from her. When the community realized our relationship was growing, they cursed a demon on me, my fiancé and her family. Her family and friends began abusing her. She received several beatings by family members which forced her to move out of her home. This caused me much much pain, almost to the point of killing myself.

My fiancé decided to come and stay with me. I remember sitting at the sitting room window in the evening and I saw her coming. She had several scars on her face as a result of the discipline received from her parents and brothers. I felt shocked, helpless to do anything about it, but I knew she was my lifeline. I realized this was her trait of empathy, and that she desired to have things happen in harmony. She did that to make me proud. She accepted me and I know she loved me. However, at that time I thought of it as a weakness.

We were married and on April 18, 2004, our second daughter was born. She seemed normal at first, but after two months we realized that she has developed hydrocephalus, a fluid in the brain that causes swelling. My wife and I were both very scared and admitted our baby to a mission hospital to undergo surgery. The doctors gave us a summary of what was needed to save her. They had to insert a shunt in her head to drain the excess fluid. After a successful eight-hour surgery, my daughter recovered in hospital for over a month.

In addition to the anxiety over our daughter’s health, my wife was highly affected by words that were used against her. In my culture people believe that some spoken words are powerful enough to cause calamities for generations. My wife confirmed that I was a cursed person, and that is the reason why she gave birth to such a baby. Even so, I kept visiting them in hospital every day since I loved my wife and the baby very much. I had to accept that my baby might also be a disabled person. It was very challenging trying to convince my wife that I was not a cursed person. My wife used to cry while staring at the baby. She used to pray every day for me and the baby by apologizing to the Lord to forgive my sins and heal the baby.

I was not trusting God. How could he have done this to my wife, since she prayed every day requesting God’s blessings on our family? At this time Jesus had taken all my defenses away. I did not want to surrender my high ground, just to have it fail. Nevertheless, I went to the hospital. The chaplain was preaching and praying to each person who was in that hospital. He spoke on love, taking his text from 1 Corinthians 13. It broke my will. The invitation came, and I stood frozen in place. My knuckles turned white from gripping the back of the pew in front of me. I felt the power of my past trying to keep me. It was as if Jesus would not bother me again if I hardened my heart once more. Then, within my spirit I sensed a calling to come to Christ. That was the most fear I had ever known. By this time, I knew He was the Son of God. The Bible teaches us that Jesus had come into the world to provide salvation to all who call on him. The Bible says, “For whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

I received Jesus Christ in hospital as a sacrifice for my baby to heal. I cannot explain what happened to me, nor would I try. It is so personal that only my Lord and I understand. However, I will say the penalty and burden of my sin left me. I saw the weight of my sin leave my body and fly through the wall of that church, and it became as far from me as “the east is from the west.” I knew that the Holy Spirit had grabbed all my garbage and pushed it under the waterfall of God’s love. The Holy Spirit in a moment in time had changed my desire. He brought me to the place of my creation and began a new work in me. My conversion to Christ totally changed me. I never raced again, and my hate for people immediately turned to love for them.

However, it took a long time to develop my relational skills. The past influenced me as I battled my old nature. I tried to draw upon the witness of the Holy Spirit and my conversion experience when I faced those sinkholes of life. I am learning that God is able! In II Corinthians 5:17 the Apostle Paul says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are becoming new.”

Since that time my wife and I have re-confirmed our marriage vows. We live in Naivasha Kenya, where I have pastored for 15 years, and we started a ministry for disabled persons (PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES HELP FOR HOPE).