For about 10 years before I was married, I lived an immoral life and became pregnant at age 25. At the time I was a school teacher in Texas and had signed a morality clause saying that if I became an unwed mother, I’d either have to get married or lose my job.

Abortion wasn’t big back then like it is now, but it was gaining acceptance. I didn’t want a baby at that point in my life. The father of the child said he could not afford the Child Support payments.

The only member of my family who knew about my situation was my brother. He called me that morning and said, “Please don’t do this.” I very angrily replied, “God forgives all sin, right? Then he’ll forgive this,” and I hung up the phone. I went and had the abortion. It was a day before my 25th birthday.

The decision to have an abortion was wrong. I’m being real, raw, and honest because I know I’m not the only young woman out there who may be facing this decision.

The very next day I flew back to Pennsylvania. I was finally broken. I tell people I was like a horse. I had to be broke.

I remember lying in my childhood bed, and crying out to God, saying,  “I can’t do this anymore. The desire of my heart had always been to be married, to find someone who loves me. That’s the desire of my heart. I’ve messed it up, and I can’t do this anymore. So you’re going to have to show me what to do.”

And from that moment on I was surrendered to the Lord. God healed me, but it took years of a process.

Ironically, not long after the abortion I began dating Dewayne. It didn’t take long before we knew we wanted to marry each other. I talked through the abortion with him because of the depression I was feeling. If you think you can have an abortion and just get over it, it’s not true.

Dewayne said that he always thought he was going to marry a woman with a child. He didn’t say that to hurt me. God used those words, so that I can encourage you out there. I thought I had no way out and that I would lose my job.

God already had the plan laid out for me. Dewayne and I would have met when I was early on in my pregnancy, and I believe we would have been married by Christmas. I would have been six months pregnant and could have kept my teaching job.

I can look back and say emphatically that God already had a plan for correcting my mistake. So I encourage young women out there, if you find yourself pregnant right now and are considering an abortion, there are other options. God has a plan for you, too. You are not stuck there. There are good Christian agencies to help you walk through this situation.

Ten years into my marriage I had just given birth to the third of my four children. I really felt that it was time for me to bless others from my experiences of bad choices and what God had redeemed of my past.

I went through training at a local crisis pregnancy center, but had feelings within me that still needed to be addressed. The Enemy tried to bring so much guilt and so much condemnation on me. That’s part of the consequences of having an abortion; years later our Enemy tries to use it to mess us up.

But God is able to take that guilt and wash it away. I think about the child that’s in heaven right now, and I know that I’m going to one day meet that child.

It was selfish of me, and in hindsight I’ve met some very lovely couples who can’t have children. I think about them when people talk about abortions.

An unwanted pregnancy right now – maybe you’re walking through some really hurtful things that people are saying to you. You need to go get an abortion because the father can’t afford another child support payment. Wow, that really makes you feel loved, right?

And if you’re a guy who thinks you can just walk through it, I know a dear friend who he ended up with a terrible drug and alcohol problem and nearly took his life because a high school girlfriend aborted his baby.

Abortion – it doesn’t resolve an unwanted pregnancy. It is a decision that creates more  destruction in your life, and hurts you, the father, both extended families, and those couples who desire a child and cannot have one of their own. Let’s also mention that it murders the life of the living child growing inside the mother.