I was born and raised in a close knit, loving, Christian family. Both my parents were involved in the church for as long as I can remember. My father worked for the Boy Scouts and as a result we moved several times during my childhood (Ohio, Illinois, Minnesota and New Jersey) but wherever we were my mom was involved in the church. I went to Sunday school, vacation bible school, and even youth retreats (at the beach) when we lived in New Jersey. I sang in the youth choir and was active in the youth group when I was in high school (New Jersey). I enjoyed church as a kid. It was a place that I felt I belonged and was comfortable. Most of the time we were members of the Presbyterian church but when we lived in Minnesota, our small town did not have a Presbyterian church so we went to the Congregational church. I didn’t notice that there was much difference and when asked one time, my mom told me the critical things weren’t different.
As a single adult with no children, I found it difficult to “fit in” in church. I tried a few times but was dissatisfied so I just quit trying.
I attended a small Methodist sponsored college in Minnesota and As part of my “liberal arts” education (I have a BA in Biology), I was required to take at least 1 religion course. The course I chose to take was a comparison of the major religions of the Western world (Catholicism, Protestantism, Judaism [CPJ]). This gave me my first serious look at religion in a much broader sense and introduced me to religious dogma that was, in some respects, quite different.
After college, I drifted away from regular church attendance and membership. As a single adult with no children, I found it difficult to “fit in” in church. I tried a few times but was dissatisfied so I just quit trying. I would go to church occasionally with friends or family but never found a place to call home and did not feel a need to go to a formal church. I saw myself as a good Christian because I tried to treat everyone the way I wanted to be treated (the golden rule has always been a good idea)and I thought of myself as a kind, compassionate, honest person.
When I was asked to write my faith story, my first thought was “I don’t have a faith story” or at least I don’t know what my faith story is. In the past few months as I have been thinking about this I realize that my story is actually in the process of evolving.
Traveling through Europe with 2 friends from college for 3 months on the “$5/day plan” also lessened my hold on any formal, specific church. We traveled through a dozen different countries and met and interacted with a lot of local people. I saw a lot of good but also a lot of bad that came from people who abused “religion”. I became leery of people who appeared to take their own “religion” too seriously, passionately. To me it tended to equate, “intolerance”. To be sure, at this time most of my friends were of the same mind so I became very comfortable in the “light, casual” relationship to church/religion.
When I was asked to write my faith story, my first thought was “I don’t have a faith story” or at least I don’t know what my faith story is. In the past few months as I have been thinking about this I realize that my story is actually in the process of evolving. I realize that my faith in God and Jesus has always been firm but it has always been more intellectual than emotional. The deaths of my parents, a very close friend and even the sudden, unexpected accidental death of my niece did not shake my belief in God, Jesus or heaven. I knew in my head and in my heart they were all safe and in good hands. I also think of God as benevolent.
Recently, I have found a church family and I have begun studying the Bible. It happened somewhat by accident. A lifelong friend who was staying with us said to me one Sunday, “Come on, we’re going to church.” My sister had been attending church since we moved to Delaware, but I had been content to stay home. One Sunday the music director said the handbell choir needed more members. I thought, “No, I wasn’t ready to get involved.” At the end of the service I found myself volunteering for bell choir! Not long afterward I was invited to serve on the church session. That idea was really scary, but here I am serving as Outreach Elder!
Although there was no sudden AHH HAA moment in my life that made me think “Wow that was God”, my faith has always been there.
More Faith Stories
But God has taken the mess of my life, all my heartache, all my troubles with everything I’m going through now, and He’s got it. I’m not worried. I have learned that through this you have to take baby steps. What I would tell someone is you do your best fighting and talking on your knees.
When it was all added up, my life was going nowhere. Had trouble even deciding what I wanted to study at school because I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. “Nada.”
So many nights I would pray, “God, I REALLY mean it, please come into my life.” I expected some kind of feeling or at least an angel appearing outside my window!
As a child I was fascinated with the moon. Maybe that’s because to me the moon represented God…Very Big and Very Far Away.
Peace, serenity, tranquility – I was desperate to find these spiritual gifts. My home life was anything but peaceful.
So on a summer roofing job atop a house, I said “Jesus, I do not know if You are real or not, but I accept You into my life and I’ll give you two weeks to show me who you are.”