The children’s song, “Jesus Loves Me,” first drew me to Him when I was too little to be noticed by most older people. Today, as an adult studying the names of God, the one that stands out and speaks to my heart more than others is EL ROI, The God Who Sees Me. When I truly SEE someone, I also HEAR them. It is the same way with God. I KNOW He sees and hears me.
My husband was divorced by his first wife in the mid 1970’s. We were married in 1978. For several years, as his children grew to adulthood, my husband’s ex-wife would sue us at Christmastime for one thing or another. We did all we could to provide well for his two children, offering their mother even more money than she asked for through the legal system.
Frustrated with her hateful behavior, I finally fell facedown in abject misery and anger one day on the bedroom floor and cried my heart out to Jesus. I asked forgiveness for my righteous anger and for Jesus’ love and understanding to fill my husband and me and guide our future episodes of contact.
My husband’s ex-wife would sue us every Christmastime for something.
Finally exhausted, I felt an inexplicable peace overtake me and a need to sleep. During that nap I dreamed of a typical English, white-wigged judge, slamming a gavel onto the block and announcing, “$405.00 per month.” Immediately, I awoke feeling unexpectedly rested. I ran downstairs to tell my mother what I had dreamt, only to be met with incredulous laughter and a snide comment like, “You only wish you would have to pay the ex-wife $405.00.”
In that very moment the phone rang. It was my husband calling from the courthouse in Illinois. He told me that the judgment awarded his ex-wife was $405.00 per month. My jaw dropped. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or faint. $405.00 was half of what we had offered her in pre-hearing negotiations to resolve this episode.
Dr. Charles Stanley, nationally known Baptist pastor from Atlanta, Georgia, said that strange things happen when we humble ourselves on our faces before the Lord, honestly pouring out our hearts, asking for help. He is so right.
Today our relationship with the ex-wife is much more than just tolerable. The children’s relationship with us is stronger than the one with their mother. We acted in love and received, though delayed, all the joy and blessings we could have hoped for in a family. Though this experience was a watershed event in my life, it most certainly was not the last. God continually sees and hears me, answering my prayers in His time, and providing help and the blessings of grace and wisdom when I need them.
Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
So be confident, knowing God sees, hears, and answers prayers in His time. Cry out from the heart with honesty, asking for what you need and believing in faith that you will receive it and love Him for it.
Jesus loves me, this I know!
More Faith Stories
I’d been drinking all day long and pulled out into the path of an oncoming vehicle with a with a woman and all of her children packed into this car. They T-boned me and at that moment everything went blank.
One Sunday the music director said the handbell choir needed more members. I thought, “No, I wasn’t ready to get involved.” At the end of the service I found myself volunteering for bell choir!
One Sunday afternoon I was sitting drunk in a bar, and I’m looking around. The only ones in the bar were the bartender, some shady looking guy in the corner, my ex-boyfriend’s mom, and me. I heard this voice in my head say, “What am I doing here?”
This past year I found a black dot on my thumbnail that looked like a pencil point. Nothing much to it. Then it became an abrasion at the end of my nail. My doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon who found it to be malignant skin cancer.
At that point I said, “I can’t do this myself. It’s in your hands, God.” That part I remember clearly. It turns out that it was really, really was up to Him (and a good surgeon).
So when drugs and alcohol came around, it was easy for me to say “yes,” because I didn’t have anything in me saying “no” anymore. As I got more involved with drugs, I got into more crime. I started committing violent crimes, selling drugs, abusing drugs ended up back up in prison.