Have you ever been so lost that you didn’t even know which way to go to find your way home? My whole life was like that until I found a “spiritual GPS system” for life.
I grew up in a pretty good home, second son (of four kids) of an Army officer. Since we moved 14 times before I went away to college, I don’t remember ever going to church. I wondered if there was a God, but the question was an intellectual exercise with no real attention to my life. Until I went to college.
Freshmen year I took a course in Literature that should have been labeled, “The Meaning of Life Course.” We read books by authors that questioned the purpose of life if there was one.
All came up with the conclusion that life had no meaning. Earnest Hemingway was my favorite. He concluded that life was “nada,” nothing, empty. I thought about my life and I had to agree. When it was all added up, my life was going nowhere. Had trouble even deciding what I wanted to study at school because I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. “Nada.”
Sophomore year I got an upgrade in dorm room and roommate. Roy had been the quarterback of our dorm’s intramural football team and I was one of his favorite receivers. Roy was a straight arrow, an engineering student like myself (though he was electrical—I was willing to overlook that, being a Mechanical Engineer myself). He was a Senior, a great student, and dating Patty, a real sweetie. He seemed to know where he was going in life.
I had no purpose, no reason to live, no direction in life; so his words struck me in the heart.
In March I had an argument with the girl I was dating and when I got back to the dorm I started talking with Roy. We talked about relationships and life in general, and Roy shared with me about his relationship with God. He shared that “You cannot find out why you are here in life until you know your creator, who made you for a purpose.” I had no purpose, no reason to live, no direction in life, so his words struck me in the heart. We talked until 3:30 a.m., when I asked Jesus into my life to give me purpose and direction. That night changed my life. Thanks, Roy!
All of a sudden, I knew which way to go and what to do. The Bible opened my eyes to a spiritual world all around me. Jesus was no longer just a person in history, but a friend and constant companion, someone to turn to for direction and guidance. I no longer felt “lost.”
Sure, I still had questions, but I saw God lead me to answers to every question I had, and every doubt. Life became an adventure. I became a better student, a better person, content, secure in where my life was going because now, I was going with God. He has never let me down, never led me astray. Life is still a challenge, but I have the assurance that God is leading me every step of the way.
More Faith Stories
This past year I found a black dot on my thumbnail that looked like a pencil point. Nothing much to it. Then it became an abrasion at the end of my nail. My doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon who found it to be malignant skin cancer.
At that point I said, “I can’t do this myself. It’s in your hands, God.” That part I remember clearly. It turns out that it was really, really was up to Him (and a good surgeon).
So when drugs and alcohol came around, it was easy for me to say “yes,” because I didn’t have anything in me saying “no” anymore. As I got more involved with drugs, I got into more crime. I started committing violent crimes, selling drugs, abusing drugs ended up back up in prison.
Losing my eyesight when I was nine years old was a difficult diagnosis to accept. My eyes welled up in tears and I became apprehensive for my future.
But God has taken the mess of my life, all my heartache, all my troubles with everything I’m going through now, and He’s got it. I’m not worried. I have learned that through this you have to take baby steps. What I would tell someone is you do your best fighting and talking on your knees.
So many nights I would pray, “God, I REALLY mean it, please come into my life.” I expected some kind of feeling or at least an angel appearing outside my window!