Forgiveness. Forgiveness not just once but over and over is why I love Jesus. It is hard to admit that I have sinned, that in fact I am still a sinner. It is not because I did not have a good role model in my life. My mother was a devout Roman Catholic who made sure all of her children went to church every Sunday and attended a Catholic grade school, even though it was costly for our family of five. I am a sinner even though I attended 12 years of Catholic education which included religion classes. I learned about sin and how to be a good Christian in school. Yet even with that background I lost my way as a young adult in my 20s. Church was not important and I only attended on holidays or special events.

I look back at my life and feel embarrassed and ashamed about some of my past actions. Then I was called by the Holy Spirit to attend a nearby Presbyterian Church one Sunday a few months after my mother’s death. During that visit God’s love filled me and I no longer felt lost or empty of faith. Over time I realized that His love included forgiveness for all of my past sins. That forgiveness gave me release and led me to a reborn faith in God. Eventually I joined the church and became an active member. I was ordained as an elder, and that day, when hands were laid on me, I felt the Holy Spirit descend upon me as well. I knew this was where God was leading me.

Every Sunday I am reminded of God’s forgiveness during the Assurance of Pardon. Every Sunday I ask for His forgiveness and know that it is freely given to me and everyone. Today I strive to be a good Christian and to keep my mind and heart focused on His word. It continues to be a struggle to forgive myself, but I know God will always be willing to forgive me today, tomorrow, and in the future.

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